Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Close to the Truth


[the real Hitchens - a parody of the far left]

from the archives
APRIL 23, 2003 | ISSUE 39•15

SPARTA, TN–Noted author, social critic, and political gadfly Christopher Hitchens was once again the focus of controversy Monday, when he was forcibly removed from Happy Trails trailer park following a drunken confrontation with Noreen Bodell, 39, his common-law wife of 14 years.

Responding to a domestic-disturbance call, police arrived at the couple's double-wide trailer at approximately 2:15 p.m. to find Hitchens and Bodell throwing dishes at each other. When the officers attempted to remove Hitchens from the premises, the leftist intellectual became physically and verbally abusive toward the officers, calling them "shitkickers," "bitches," and "effete liberal apologists for the atrocities of late-stage capitalism."

An inebriated Hitchens is forcibly removed from the Happy Trails trailer park. Having consumed what sources described as "a substantial amount of single-malt scotch," Hitchens then burst into tears, yelling, "That woman never understood me for who I am. I want to talk to [Harper's editor Lewis] Lapham. Lapham's the only one who understands me."

Charged with disturbing the peace, Hitchens was taken to the Sparta police station at 3 p.m. and released four hours later.

Little is known about Bodell, a heavy-set blonde who has been known to use several different surnames. According to sources familiar with the couple, the incident marks the third time in as many weeks that police have been forced to intervene in their volatile relationship.

"We're down at the old Hitchens place probably twice a month at least," said Sgt. Wilson Vernon, the first of three officers to arrive at the scene. "Once his blood's up, old Hitch can get meaner than a three-legged coon hound. From what the neighbors told us about this latest incident, Noreen was all worked up, accusing him of drinking and womanizing. He was angry with her refusal to acknowledge that there is ample evidence to make a case for prosecuting Henry Kissinger as a war criminal. She just kept shouting, 'No, there ain't!'"

Police were initially summoned when neighbors reported hearing shouting and a loud crash, followed by a rambling polemic on Kissinger's alleged covert approval of Indonesia's illegal invasion of East Timor in 1975.

Though the belligerent Hitchens required three officers to subdue him, police do not consider the incident serious, calling it "business as usual" and describing Hitchens as a "hot-tempered but essentially harmless provocateur for the Far Left."

"Hitch is an all-right guy once he sobers up," Vernon said. "He just gets a little wound-up sometimes, like when his woman stays out all night down at Smokey Joe's Tavern, or he has a deadline looming for his Vanity Fair column."

Hitchens' run-ins with the law have not been restricted to Sparta city limits. In May 2002, he was arrested for drunkenly singing 1930s union songs while driving a stolen riding lawnmower through the streets of Boston, where he was attending an international women's-rights conference. Hitchens accused police of "atavistic, morally reprehensible Stalinist scare tactics" before being bailed out by conference organizers the following morning.

Sgt. Ed Poole of Boston's 11th Precinct said there was no love lost between Hitchens and his arresting officers.

"Word got around the station that this guy wrote a whole book claiming that Mother Teresa was a stooge of right-wing dictators," Poole recalled. "Supposedly, he said her hypocritical approach to charity for the poor of Calcutta, as well as her steadfast advocacy of the Catholic Church's doctrine prohibiting birth control, made her an essentially immoral individual undeserving of the mantle of sainthood. Well, a lot of the boys here are Irish-Catholic born and raised, and they don't take too kindly to people speaking ill of nuns."

Town officials in Sparta, where Hitchens has maintained an on-again, off-again residence for two decades, admit that he may be "a handful" at times, but they insist he is not a danger to himself or others.

"If I know Hitch, by the end of the week, he and Noreen'll be back together, cuddlin' and kissin', just as happy as two crawdads in a pond," Sparta Police Chief Buck Perkins said. "We don't get a lot of ultra-progressive agitators 'round these parts, but Hitch is okay. Plus, he earned a lot of points with the townsfolk for his vocal criticism of the anti-war movement. Even though he was attacking the war opponents from the left, folks around here don't necessarily understand the implications of that, so he's an all-right Joe in their book."

Added Perkins: "So long as Hitch can learn to keep his mouth shut about Christianity being symptomatic of the 'savage and ignorant prehistory of our species' and whatnot, I'm sure he'll cause no trouble that a few cups of black coffee and a night in the drunk tank can't solve."

30 comments:

Ksil said...

If only you cared as much about the horrid acts of religious clergy as you do of one lone man....

jewish philosopher said...

How many leaders of an orthodox Jewish synagogue or school have ever been convicted of a violent crime, sex crime, driving while under the influence or drug related crimes?

I only know of one.

In 2002, Baruch Lanner was convicted of touching the breasts of two 16 students while he was their high school principal ten years earlier. He served six years in prison.

http://www.nytimes.com/2002/10/12/nyregion/rabbi-convicted-of-sexual-abuse-is-freed-on-bail-pending-appeal.html

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Baruch_Lanner

This is apparently about average for sex crimes in the United States.

http://www.totalcriminaldefense.com/crimes-a-z/sex/default.aspx

So much for the idea that Jews get away with murder.

I'll bet most denominations would love to have this kind of record.

ksil said...

you obviously dont know what "mesirah" is...

jewish philosopher said...

I know what psychological projection means. These "whistleblowers" are all nuts themselves.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Awareness_Center

Varagi said...

The Awareness Center people include nuts AND sane people. They may be overzealous, but the documentation they provide -- court cases, newspaper articles, police reports -- (which covers some, but not all of the people they profile) -- is valuable reading, and can't be ignored.

jewish philosopher said...

It's closed now. Who was on the staff except Vicki Polin?

Varagi said...

Before I answer, I'd like you to answer: Did they or did they not provide a good deal of valuable, and troubling, documentation?

Eli said...

I dont fully grasp the message of this post.....

jewish philosopher said...

I wasn't a huge follower, however it seemed to be basically just articles cut and pasted from newspapers.

jewish philosopher said...

I'm ridiculing Hitchens.

Varagi said...

I guess you missed the legal briefs and police reports.

jewish philosopher said...

I guess the question might be: do I believe that the Awareness Center prevented any orthodox Jews from having sex with children, and I would say "no".

My impression is that the Awareness Center was simply a website created by a bigot to slander orthodox rabbis, nothing more or less.

Anonymous said...

Uh...you know that the Onion is a fake news organization. It's satire.

Varagi said...

Your guess as to what "the question might be" is so off.

If your impression, even if correct, prevents you from seeing the value of their exposes (the true ones, that is), then you've purposely blinded yourself.

Eli said...

Yessir, Christopher Hitchens is one crazy motherfucker...

jewish philosopher said...

"the value of their exposes"

The same valuable exposes have been going on for almost 2,000 years.

Jesus is quoted as saying (Matthew 23:27) “Woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! for ye are like unto whited sepulchres, which indeed appear beautiful outward, but are within full of dead men's bones, and of all uncleanness.”

http://etext.virginia.edu/etcbin/toccer-new2?id=KjvMatt.sgm&images=images/modeng&data=/texts/english/modeng/parsed&tag=public&part=23&division=div1

Ironmistress said...

JP, what Jesus said was very apt. The same applies to all religions and ideologies: there are an awful lot of hypocrite clergymen and learned who raise style above the substance - are gilded outwards and whitewashed tombs inside. Don't you think that would apply to many people even today?

When an ideology or religion collapses into mere nit-picking, rules lawyering or abuse of authority, criticism has its place.

Which is more important: the letter of the law or its spirit?

jewish philosopher said...

What Jesus said was simply the type of baseless accusation which any criminal could use against his moral superiors.

Ironmistress said...

JP. I have seen enough uppity and haughty "moral superiors" to recognize hypocrisy when I see it.

The criticism of Jesus on the Pharisees was not a doctrinal one, unlike his criticism on the Sadducees. The theology of Jesus was very close to that of the Pharisees. The criticism was simply one of hypocrisy. The Pharisees did not live like they taught.

"Do as I say, do not do as I do". The age old axiom of hypocrisy.

jewish philosopher said...

And exactly how did Jesus know this?

The masses of Jews continued following the rabbis, not their alleged savior.

Alex said...

You quoted some harsh words from Matthew. You can find even harsher ones from our own prophets.

Ironmistress said...

JP, if the history is to be believed, the Jewish nation effectively got torn in two by Jesus.

Approximately half of all Jews became Christians during the next three centuries. The rest remained Rabbinical.

The winners of this mayhem were Christians and Pharisees. The faction which collapsed for good was the Sadducees. Haven't heard of them in centuries.

Knowing that hypocrisy exists and sensing hypocrisy when you see it does not exactly ask for divine powers. It asks for ability to think with your own brain and ability to questionize the official truths and authorities.

jewish philosopher said...

"You quoted some harsh words from Matthew. You can find even harsher ones from our own prophets."

This is the first reference that I know of on the theme that "the rabbis only appear to be good but really are evil".

"JP, if the history is to be believed, the Jewish nation effectively got torn in two by Jesus."

Who says? The Jews killed him, the Greeks and Romans accepted him.

Ironmistress said...

JP, not necessarily evil but just corrupt, hypocrite, crooked and practising lip service only. Those are very much human properties.

The history tells pretty well that up to half of the Jewish population converted to Christianity during the next couple of centuries. The majority of the early converts came from Jewish population, and only during the 3th century the amount of ex-Polytheist converts became significant. When Christianity was declared the state religion of Rome in 380, only some 10% of the population of the state were Christians. Only after then began the mass conversion of Romans and Greeks.

Some of the nastier chapters of Talmud reflect this rift. The Jewish nation effectively was torn in two. And this shock has been so nasty and horrible that the Jewish nation has never really mentally recovered from it. The grudge, resentment and sometimes outright hate is kept alive for centuries.

You are no exception. The Jews have never really made the issues resolved rationally with neither Jesus nor Christian doctrine. The reaction is utterly emotional; one of bitterness.

Yet there is no way really to separate Christianity from Judaism nor vice versa; and it is impossible to understand Christianity without understanding Judaism. Those two religions are intertwined like two vines, and they both have a common doctrinal father, and he is Gamaliel the Great. Both Shaul ha-Tarsi (St. Paul) and Yohanan ben Zakkai were his students.

Can rabbis, scribes and Pharisees be corrupt, hypocrite, crooked or practising lip service only? Certainly. They were human beings like you and me, and had the same vices as we both do have. Then again, Jesus had no doctrinal disputes with Pharisees. It is just that the clergy didn't live like they taught.

The same theme repeats itself in the Ketuvim and Nevi'im: the clergy do not live like they taught and didn't follow their own rules. Jesus wasn't the first to criticize them. Nor the last. He just happened to live at the time when Messiah was about to come.

jewish philosopher said...

The Jewish rejection of Jesus was almost unanimous and the Jews demanded his death.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rejection_of_Jesus

Jesus' diatribes against the Pharisees was his way of rationalizing this rejection - they are secretly evil, as opposed to himself who was truly good. This silly claim continues to be used by opponents of Judaism.

Alex said...

"This is the first reference that I know of on the theme that "the rabbis only appear to be good but really are evil".

What in the world are you talking about? I surely didn't say anything like the words you're putting in my mouth.

"...the Jews demanded his death."
Give me the percentage of Jews who demanded Jesus' death, and I might just accept your use of the definite article, "the."

jewish philosopher said...

According to Christian accounts, the Jewish mob and the Sanhedrin demand Jesus' death.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pilate%27s_Court

According to Jewish sources, the Sanhedrin itself executed Jesus.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jesus_in_the_Talmud#Execution

Alex said...

Before you jump to conclusions about what "Jewish sources" say about Jesus's death, please check out the following, from a well-regarded Orthodox rabbi: http://www.angelfire.com/mt/talmud/jesusnarr.html http://www.angelfire.com/mt/talmud/jesus.html

jewish philosopher said...

I don't think there is any basis however to the belief that Jesus got an enthusiastic reception from ancient Jewry.

jewish philosopher said...

Except perhaps enthusiastically wanting to kill him.