Friday, May 01, 2009
[the best parody of atheism on youtube]
Atheism is a popular modern religion.
Founder: Charles Darwin.
Sacred text: Origin of Species.
Core beliefs: There is no Biblical God and evolution created us. Evolution is different from God in that it has no intelligence, therefore it demands nothing.
Basic proof: The fossils prove the Torah is false and evolution is true.
Debunked: In this post and this post.
Pope: Richard Dawkins
Bishops: Secular professors.
Cathedrals: Secular universities which teach evolution as fact and God as fiction.
Priests: Secular public school teachers.
Churches: Secular public schools which teach evolution.
Common rituals: Binge drinking, drug abuse, promiscuity. (Basically, alcohol and opiates are the the atheist version of prayer; they offer comfort and solace.)
Atheism is especially attractive to several types of people:
Addicts. Atheism teaches that no God will punish their selfish and destructive behavior. Therefore addicts, whether alcohol, drugs, pornography, etc. flock to atheism. This is the typical atheist in Western Europe or English speaking counties. Part of recovery is belief in God.
Communists. Traditional religions might be a threat to totalitarian dictorships, therefore Communists are militant atheists. Additionally, atheism permits everything, including murder. Murder is necessary to carry out the proletarian revolution and maintain the dictatorship of the proletariat.
Scientists. According to atheism prophesy cannot exist and therefore clergymen are unimportant, making scientists society's most important intellectuals. Many scientists have therefore enthusiastically promoted atheism while many young atheists have chosen a career in science. (The 1860 Oxford evolution debate and the 1925 Scopes Trial have become the legendary symbols of scientists triumphing over clergymen.)
In general, atheists are frequently either debauched libertines, murderers or both. Many are psychopaths - remorseless and egocentric.
Atheist = immature, irresponsible lowlife.
Agnosticism, humanism and indifferentism are transitional stages between either Christianity and Judaism on one hand and atheism on the other.
Reform, Conservative and Modern Orthodox Judaism are transitional stages between Judaism and atheism. Liberal Christianity is a transitional stage between Christianity and atheism.
It should be mentioned incidentally that many atheists would strenuously object to this post. They would argue that atheism is not a religion at all. Rather atheism simply means analyzing things rationally while “religion” means believing in things which are obviously fictional. In other words atheism is true and other religions are not. Of course many adherents to other religion believe this as well.
Atheists may argue that since they do not believe in a personal god and do not pray, atheism is not a religion, however the same is true of some Buddhists and Scientologists. Atheism is a belief system concerning spirituality, the afterlife, man’s origin and morality and therefore I believe it is a religion. The American government defines atheism as a religion and surveys regarding religion usually include "atheism" as an option. This video clip features atheist missionaries. There is an Atheist Alliance International complete with all sorts of activities, awards, conventions, publications, etc. There is no "People Who Don't Believe in Leprechauns Alliance International".
Animals truly have no religious beliefs. Asking "What religion is your dog?" is like asking "What color is a bald man's hair?" However atheism is simply another religion, although a somewhat bizarre, new and very dangerous one.
I also want to point out that while it is true that atheism did exist prior to Darwin, however "Origin of Species" made atheism respectable, popular and supposedly scientific. Before "Origin", "atheist" was used almost solely as an insult directed at others.
Posted by jewish philosopher at 9:33 AM